January 2019 9

West Haven officer has sex act performed on him during prostitution sting

WEST HAVEN, Conn. (WTNH) - Confidential police files obtained only by News 8 reveal a shocking case of police misconduct.

The records show veteran West Haven police Ofc. Jonathan Healey, who is married, allowed a sex act to be performed on him during a 2017 prostitution sting at a massage parlor in Branford.

Healey, who was assigned to a Drug Enforcement Administration Task Force at the time, was sent to assist Branford because it was less likely he would be recognized as an officer. Instead, his actions botched the investigation, according to court documents; and likely crossed the line of what's legally allowed, civil rights attorney Bill Palmieri opined.

Healey later claimed in an interview with Internal Affairs that he had not received clear instructions as to whether he should follow through with the sex act or simply establish if it was an option.

Click here for the source of the article on sex act in West Haven

ω You really fucked up here didn't you officer Healey or as he's undoubtedly now known, "Handjob Healey".

Can you imagine the hilarity as the other officers burst into the massage cubicle to make the arrest and found officer Healey with a rapidly retracting, oozing penis and a masseuse with a hand full of spunk. I mean, I can't blame the guy, shit feels good and he just saw it through to it's slimy conclusion.

What do you think the officers yelled the moment they spotted the first globule of Erectoplasm bursting from Healey's service revolver? Was it "SHOTS FIRED, SHOTS FIRED!" or a "Anything you spray may be used against you in a court of law" ?

Here's an actual snip from the police report;

I think you can safely assume that there's some massage extras or sex acts going on when your masseuse is wearing a see-through type shirt with a pink bra and a pair of yoga pants on!

Personally I believe officer Healey should be commended or even promoted, he came in with a $150 and negotiated her down to $90 for "manual manipulation of his gentials until ejeculation". Why did he care about saving money, it wasn't his money, you know why? because officer Healey is a true Jo(h)n and he stands by the principle of setting a fair market price for the rest of us - god bless this man.

That being said, it's likely the most expensive handjob of the century as it did cost him his career and probably his marriage (love how the article just HAD to point out that he was married).

This up about sums up the situation from the viewpoint of his colleagues in sperm-enforcement;

The whole situation just made me think of the classic brothel scene in the wire where Jimmy McNulty winds up in a threesome. Do you think the West Haven police department had a similar debate like in the video before the fateful decision to send Hand2Gland Healey in?

Ok I think I've manipulated enough comedy pudding out of the genitals of this article.

In honour of the career ending extras that Officer Healey couldn't pass up, I present to you a sexy Nuru massage series starring the hot as fuck Gianna Dior.

I swear if i squint it looks like Kim Kardashian banging Tito Ortiz.

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