First off, apologies for the large gaps between my online ejaculations. I've been distracted with some real-world bullshit but I'm now back to being able to preach to my fellow erotic massage addicts. Today we will be discussing erotic massage extras and we'll start off with our childhood sweet-heart "The Handjob"
I trust that most of you savages have experienced over the years both the highs and lows of a juicy handjob. You may have suffered a blistered penis as your girlfriend speed-wanked you before her parents got home or blew a confused load in the locker-room as your gym teach whispered in your ear "shooters shoot". A badly administered or rushed sinners-handshake can sometimes feel like a bit of a let-down or failure but a great handjob can be pretty fucking gratifying.. We won't delve into the differences in this update on a good vs bad "rub and tug" but we will rant about how you can help secure yourself one in an erotic massage parlor.
The handjob is pretty much the definition of a happy-ending to an erotic massage visit. If any extras are going to be on the menu, it's going to start with the handjob and many erotic massage parlours won't offer anything more exotic than this standard "rub and tug". Despite a handjob being a mere rung up from wanking out a load ourselves, we all know that substituting your hand with someone else's hand turns that trouser-gravy explosion from pathetic to ballbusting. I've had some mind blowing handjobs over the years from massage girls and here's some tips and thoughts on the most honest and reliable of massage extras - The handjob.
To keep things simple, we're going to pretend you've had the first part of your oil massage and you're now laying on your back and praying to god that the masseuse helps disarm your throbbing pair of balls.
Please tell me you have a fucking erection! This is the clearest sign to the masseuse that you can be persuaded for trading your testicular goulash for some currency. If you're softer than the Browns O-Line than the masseuse could suspect that you're gay or that you're one of those peculiar guys that prefer a therapeutic massage experience (fuck those guys). Even if you're covered by a towel or rocking a pair of underwear, the tented expression of excitement will improve your chances of being propositioned.
We're going to skip ahead and hope that you've read my previous guide on improving your chances of a happy ending. The masseuse has now pointed to your puny manhood and whispered "you want happy ending?". Great! - you're on your way to blowing a load into her sweet hand so here's some handjob tips;
After you've got off, the masseuse will clean you off with tissues and a towel and will usually disappear to get you a hot towel or a drink. During this time you'll get changed and get the money ready for the extras. As discussed in previous posts, don't be a dick and not pay as this ruins it for all future clients as the jaded masseuse will demand up front payments from future clients. Speaking of this, I had a funny incident recently on this very topic. I had just finished an awesome erotic massage and been jerked off by a cute asian girl who we'll call "Ling" that I'm a regular customer of. She returned to the room with a drink and I had finished getting changed. I slurped down a sip of the drink and said;
"Welp, thanks for the great massage. I'll see you next time"
*Ling clears throat*
"Ok well talk to you next time"
*Ling clears throat very loudly whilst starting intently at me*
"Ummm is something wrong?"
*Ling makes cement-mixer like sound with her throat and starts darting her eyes at my groin*
"Oh holy shit! I totally forgot to pay - sorry here's your money"
*Ling chuckles and nods*
Dammit - I was nearly the non-paying douche that I'm always ranting about - FUCK.
That's all for this update boys. Next update we're going to discuss the common mistakes a girl makes when administering a handjob. As always, feel free to hit me up with your erotic massage stories and experiences via email wallace @ eroticmassageblog.com. Happy Endings.
Petite Japanese masseuse Marica Hase doesn't speak a word of English, and her client Justin Hunt can't understand his service options. He's interested in a NURU massage but doesn't know what it's about, and she can't communicate in his language. So, the consummate massage professional puts down her fan and escorts him to the shower room. She undresses her client and removes her traditional kimono robe, surprising Justin with her nudity. He follows her into the shower where she washes his body and gently strokes his cock. When he sits on the bench, she sucks it and rides him in reverse cowgirl. After more sumptuous head in the tub, Marica concludes their soak with some vaginal penetration. She slowly fucks his cock from behind, then moves to the NURU mat with Justin. She cloaks him in NURU gel and licks his back as she slides along his body. Playing with the stringy lubricant on her natural tits, she grinds her wet pussy on his leg and almost cums. Then she turns him over and sucks on dick before spooning him for entry. He fucks her deeply and makes her cum, then pulls out to cum on her pussy!
Employee Charged with Prostitution. Forest Lake Massage Parlor Shut Down
A Forest Lake massage parlor has had its license revoked after an employee was charged with prostitution.
The city council voted unanimously to revoke the license of Flawless Massage and that of the employee, 53-year-old Wei Lu. The complaint states a Washington County detective was given $130 of documented money to use in the operation and outfitted with a recording device. The detective was greeted by a woman later identified as Lu, who provided an agreed-upon one-hour massage for $70 during which she is alleged to have made contact with the detective's scrotum on "approximately 10 occasions."
The complaint states Lu left the room at one point and returned to find the detective standing completely naked. He removed $60 from his pants pocket, laid down on the table and placed the money near his head. Lu then allegedly asked if the detective would like her to massage "down there," to which he responded in the affirmative.
According to the complaint, Lu began manually stimulating the detective before he provided a bust signal to authorities standing by.
He told Lu to stop and began getting dressed. Lu asked if the $60 was hers, and he said it was. She picked up the money and left the room. An arrest was made moments later, during which officers found the documented money in Lu's jeans pocket.
Lu faces up to one year in prison and/or up to a $3,000 fine.
ω *Cough* fucking entrapment *Cough* - I don't know folks, the weirdest / most-alarming part of this whole retarded scenario is that the officer was just standing around naked in the cubicle when she returned. I guarantee that if I went to a legitimate massage spa and the masseuse returned to the room to find me standing in the corner looking naked and creepy - she'd freak out and probably call the cops. Not an issue I guess if you ARE the creepy naked cop! One year in prison for less than a dozen scrotum strokes seems a tad harsh huh?
Click here for the source of the article on Massage Parlor Shut Down, Employee Charged with Prostitution
Undercover agent offered 'full service' during massage, arrest warrant shows
ORLANDO, Fla. - Three women were arrested Monday in a prostitution bust at a massage parlor, Orlando police said.
The Metropolitan Bureau of Investigation issued arrest warrants for three women after receiving several complaints on Crimeline that the defendants were engaging in prostitution at Bora Bora Massage and Spa, according to court records.
An MBI undercover agent went to the spa on Woodward Street in Orlando on Feb. 2. The agent paid $60 for a 30-minute massage. During the massage, the woman offered him a "full service" for $140, according to the arrest warrant.
"Full service" is common street terminology for sex, according to the MBI.
Tipsters who called Crimeline said the employees were "scantily clad," with clothing barely covering their breasts and buttocks.
Agents found users on a website mostly used by men seeking commercial sex providers discussing their experiences at Bora Bora, according to MBI.
Changhui Lei and Morakot Goh were booked into the Orange County Jail and charged with unlicensed practice of a health care profession, offering to engage in prostitution, failure to cover customer's anatomical areas and several other crimes.
ω "Failure to cover customer's anatomical areas" Wait - that's a fucking crime now? So you can be charged if the client's balls are showing? It's totally fine for the cop in the article above to chill out nude in the room but the masseuse can be charged for not covering a flacid cock? What sort of bizarro world am I living in!
Click here for the source of this article on Massage Parlor Shut Down, Employee Charged with Prostitution