First off, big fat apology for the massive gap between posts. I finally got my shit together and started my own home business (and no it’s not an erotic massage den you perverts) so I’ve been busy slicing through red-rape, getting my office sorted and rejoicing at not having colleagues dismissing my demands to bring back “hubba hubba” as a way to compliment a hot chick. Thankfully my massage urges weren’t drowned by all that real-world nonsense and I’ve actually recently experienced some pretty wild shit when visiting massage parlors so I’ll be sure to share in future updates. Before we go there, we need to further educate you on what you can expect when being on the receiving end of an erotic massage. Last update we discussed the face-down aspect of the massage but now it’s time to flip the fuck over and show this chick that meager example of manhood that you’re microscopin’
“Would you like to turn over?”
Fuck I love those words and you can carve that shit on my gravestone, right next to my gym mantra of “Fuck Lunges”. This is where we find out if you’re on track for some juicy extras or it’s a bog standard massage so heed my words here fellas.
The girls actions when flipping over is a very good indicator of what’s to come. When you flip she’s well aware that your throbbing erection (you better be hard or all my yoda-like lessons have been for naught) is going to be in full view so her attempts at covering your cock is going to go a few ways;
- She will hold the towel up in front of her so she has no view of your dick, (god forbid she catches a glimpse of it right!) and after you flip she will cover you up and tuck in the sides for a brutal ride to blueball ranch. Chance of extras = HAHA%
- She lets you turn over, holding the towel low whilst making no attempt to shield her eyes from that disgusting case of dickcheese you have going on before slowly covering your with the towel. Chance of extras = 75%
- You are asked to flip-over and she tosses the towel to the side and leaves you stark naked. Chance of extras = 100% (We did it!)
Either way, your flipped over and your heading to the “Extras Zone”. My pet hate is being propositioned for extras the moment you turn-over and this is actually annoyingly common (I find Korean chicks often pull this lame maneuver). I’m of the opinion that the entire erotic massage is a slow buildup to orgasm and getting asked the moment you flip over if you wanna get off just kills that facade for me. Here’s why it fucking sucks;
- The massage portion of this whole scenario can’t be forgotten so a girl who does this is ignoring all the muscles on the front of my body and all that shit requires kneading dammit – my dick can wait!.
- The absolute WORST case of this is when the girl has offered no erotic indicators at all, she hasn’t stroked your balls, her hands haven’t lingered in any sensitive areas and then she flips you over, peers down at your (naturally) flaccid cock and asks “You want extras?”. That shit kills me and on principle I say no as the girls gotta understand that it’s an erotic massage and there’s a protocol dammit anf the first part of that protocol is her ensuring you have an erection before propositioning you!
- Jerking you off at the end of the massage means you wrap the session up nicely and can scuttle home with your jizz covered jocks sticking to your balls. If she jerks you off right after the flip-over, there’s often extra time left and she either cuts your session short (some guys rage at this) or she awkwardly massages you whilst your deflated cock sorrowfully drools away. I can never put up with that shit so I just ask to finish up the session -perhaps that’s her plan huh?
How you deal with that question is entirely up to you, maybe she’s worked you up the point where if you don’t get off soon, whatever gets ejaculated might be against the Geneva convention. Or perhaps you are like me and hate that shit but you’ll no doubt face it at some point.
We’ll deal with the actual extras proposition next update – time to get that happy ending!
Be sure to check out Boobday over at the fantastic “A Dissolute Life Means” blog
Logan Long wakes up Christmas morning in bed with sexy girlfriend Gina Valentina. She suspects that Santa came early this year, and Logan follows her into the living room to inspect. Something is waiting in there. It’s an air mattress, and Gia wants to use it to give him a full contact NURU Gel massage! It’s clear that Logan’s excited, judging by the footlong sprouting from his torso. The tiny tattooed brunette pulls off her pajama bra and panties, while Logan lies down on the mat. She pulls her hair back so it’s out of the way of the gel she’s lubing him up with. Once she’s covered herself in the translucent goo, she straddles Logan on the mat and begins to slide her naked body up and down, making friction with his swollen slippery cock. Beholding the little gumdrop nipples on her titties, Logan can’t get over how beautiful she looks with his cock all the way in her mouth. Slow and steady she takes all of his big dick in her pussy. She thrusts her weight to fuck him harder. And with the assistance of the sticky wet gel, her movements effectively bring her to a shuddering orgasm. He flips her over and pummels her from on top, but her juicy quim is so tight, it sucks him like a vacuum till he creampies, cumming hard inside her chimney chute, spilling his love juice until her cup runneth over.